A recent survey showed that more than 2 million Italians have experienced partner exchange at least once. On balance, 10% of the population of the Bel Paese has allowed itself to a more open experience. The phenomenon is certainly growing if you think that just 3 years ago Federsex claimed that half a million Italian couples were registered in swingers clubs.
But this fame has not always been accompanied by correct information and many couples have used “the game” as a last island for their relationship, obviously ending up shipwrecked.
We have therefore drawn up a small vademecum for all those listening couples who are caressed by the idea of trying this electrifying experience, but watch out, the couple swap is not for everyone.
1. Couple Swapping isn’t for everyone.
Just as you would consider the positives and negatives of a marriage, so you should weigh the pros and cons of a 4-way game. The best thing is certainly to talk about it, perhaps making a list together and discuss each point. It is not mandatory to get to the couple swap to feel more transgressive and don’t force this choice, remember: the couple swap is not for everyone.
2. Pressure is the antithesis of pleasure.
We often receive requests on how to convince your partner to broaden their horizons but the answer is simple: you can’t! Convincing him would mean forcing him and disaster would thus be around the corner. The couple swap, if intensely desired by both, leads the couple to experience a state of otherwise unattainable complicity. But this achievement is impossible in the absence of a common desire.
3. Rules are absolutely necessary
You will often hear from more experienced couples that the only rules that matter are your rules, it doesn’t get any more true. Only you are the experts in your relationship, so while you may learn a few tricks from the experts, your vision is the only one that understands the right balances that keep everything moving.
Setting rules up front is definitely important. Ask yourself and answer everything that comes to mind, such as:
– Is there any limit in sex games?
– What are the sexual activities that put us most at ease?
– How to communicate if we don’t feel at ease with the other couple?
– Do we have a “safe word”, i.e. a security word to stop the game?
– How will your partner react if you use it?
– Are you both interested in a couple exchange or maybe in a threesome?
– Would you like to play more in public or in private?
– Are you available to play more times with the same couple?
– How should you behave if your partner is interested in someone from the other couple but you are not?
– How do you plan to face the “morning after?” first time?
– Revisit your rules periodically, adding new ones or changing them gradually you will accumulate experience.
4. Vulnerabilities are our strengths.
Jealousy, insecurity, and fear are normal emotions, so it’s important to acknowledge them. They are not a sign of lack in the relationship when talking about emotions in an open way, on the contrary, you have the opportunity to offer your partner and yourself a new point of view, thanks to the reassurances that will become your strong point.
5. Voyerism has its perks.
If you have decided to try it, we suggest you spend some time in the Private Clubs or in some transgressive place where participation is not absolutely mandatory. This way you can engage in friendly conversations with other couples and ease the pressure, while familiarizing yourself with the scene around you. Many Private Clubs offer special attention to swinger couples who are at their first experience (there are many, you are not alone!) and often you will also be welcomed by other couples who will be happy to answer all your curiosities.
There you have it, we’ve had fun compiling 5 guidelines for you to explore the idea of a more open and more mindful relationship. Use these tips to talk about it with your partner, if you have any other questions then, always consider the comments below the article, no one will judge you and you can ask all the questions you want regarding the exciting and consensual lifestyle of swapping.